Sooner or later, I will have to come to terms with the purpose of this blog. For those who have enjoyed the vignettes of parenting, the reflections of my life with my children, I’m glad. That has been the most enjoyable part of this project. I think I was able to impart the fact that I absolutely love being a mom. (Thank heavens for word-processors… I first wrote that in the past tense. I’m still a mom, and I realize that now, but when my kids left for college, I went through some crazy stuff to have the strength and the wisdom to take the d off of the word love in that sentence.)
Sooner or later, I will have to be able to write about the changes that occur when a woman has to “reinvent herself” during that awkward time often referred to in many ways: “the empty nest,” “pre-menopause,” “menopause,” “post-menopause,” “middle-age,” or in my case, all of the above!
When I first started writing, it was simply to serve as “therapy.” …to give me something to do to pass the time, as I had not only suffered an empty nest, but had also lost a job after thirteen years. While I was looking for employment earnestly, I still had a lot of idle time, and that is dangerous for someone like me.
Besides having lost the “identity” as a mother, I had also lost my “identity” as an employee. These were two of the roles that took up most of my waking hours. So when I talk about reinventing myself, it was an overwhelming proposition. While I was still a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend, these are roles that seemed less dominant at the time, and for reasons that will unfold as I write were neglected and/or excluded in the recent past.
Sooner or later is now. I say that because I feel strong enough to face my past and embrace my present, without fear of my future. Here’s why.
Both of my children have taken beautiful paths. As of today, my daughter has found a new spiritual life that fills her with joy, while at the same time she is pursuing a career that fits her personality… one that will help others along the way. My son is doing the same. He has found the love of his life and is about to embark on a life with her, with such joy and happiness. That is all I ever wanted for them.
I have a renewed relationship with my husband, and after 30 years of marriage, we are in love all over again. I have found employment doing the work I enjoy to benefit the people I love (with the right attitude about it).
And I have begun to find me, and this has been the greatest journey of all. Sooner or later, you’ll get to know me too!