Crystal Clear


Someone recently called me “transparent” in my writing. I thought about it and the question came to mind, if not here, then where? I obviously can’t show my true feelings in the workplace. Aren’t we taught to leave our problems at home? And it has been proven many times that dragging my work issues home only upsets the dynamics of my family. My husband, like most men, can’t just listen and let me vent. He has to solve the problem and fix things; one, because he’s a man, and two because he hates to see me unhappy.

When my dog was around, I could tell him anything. He didn’t judge me or try to solve the world’s problems and then go back to his nap. He just napped right through them. I miss him.

A while back, my life took a turn, for a long time, where I had isolated myself, and there were not many friends to whom I could vent. As a result, I created a cocoon for myself and the end result is that I now have very few people in my life to talk to, openly and honestly.

So, I talk to myself. In my blog and in my shower; on a walk or while on the treadmill; while doing computer work or gardening; while mixing up a cake batter or watching a baseball game. There’s a pattern here. All of these things are done alone. And if you know me, you know that I’m lying about the treadmill.

I noticed just recently that I had more followers on this blog than I realized, so being so transparent is probably not such a good idea. Or maybe it is. Maybe I’m not so alone.

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5 thoughts on “Crystal Clear

    1. Thanks, Sis. This post was a black and white (literally) solution to a grey issue. I love writing, as you know. Sometimes, though, I think maybe I do write too personally in too public a place. Thanks for your note. Love you.

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  1. Adrienne Rudolph

    Judy, I just read your blog, and was moved by what you wrote about “being transparent” and having no one who will listen to your “vents” . I have discovered that people in general don’t want to hear about our troubles…even our dearest friends. It is sad but just the way it is in life. It takes someone of great compassion to really care about what we are going through. And I guess some people want to help but do not know how. But take heart! Talking to yourself and to your cat and any inanimate object that will listen has great merits….sometimes great inspiration comes from just this kind of inner conversation. I really like your blog post and look forward to reading more of them. Great writers and artists of all ages past and present expressed themselves best when using the medium of writing or art – and most of these people also felt alone and unable to really connect with other humans.

    Do you know about Chinese astrology? I think you are a Goat, if we were born the same year –
    Goat people are shy and artistic and sometimes have trouble communicating what we feel to others..

    People criticize Facebook for different reasons, but I think it can be a very positive thing. How many friends would I never have known again since kindergarten, if FB didn’t exist? How much enjoyment it brings to people to get to know their friends again through their posts….even if we all live hundreds of miles apart.!
    Well, keep writing and connecting through your written words….the connections you make through writing are often more real than the ones we have face to face.

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