Meant for Each Other

A little background on both of us… If you’ve been reading my blog then you know all of this already, but if you haven’t I’ll give it to you in a nutshell.  I’m a middle-aged woman, who spent a lifetime serving as mom and as wife, while working full time in the not-for-profit arena, doing the best I could to make life better for those less fortunate than I, while raising my two children and taking care of my husband and home.  My kids are doing great.  One married last year and is starting his life up state.  The other moved away this past spring to take a terrific job and start her life up north.

Now I am in the midst, I imagine of what is known as an Existential Crisis, as I am slogging through that awful period of the “Empty Nest Syndrome,” while trying to rediscover my marriage and to see if my husband and I are on the same page about our future together.  I’m dealing with a lot of transitions in my life, and trying to determine my next path, and I really don’t know what to do.  My emotions are sometimes raw, yet sometimes numb.  My passion for work, for life, even for chocolate has been muted.

The other starring character in this blog has an even more mournful past.  He is the product of a mixed marriage, if you even want to call it that.  He was actually hit by a car and left for dead, though he had a strong will and survived, as a youngster. He was kept in foster care for way too long.  He seems, even today, to be an isolationist, and to be ever so slightly melancholy, although some just say he is laid-back, or mellow.  I feel he is very trusting, accepting and loving.  There aren’t too many like that in this world, especially when their beginnings were so challenging.

I came upon him quite by accident.  My wanderlust took me to where he was one day, and I happened upon him, visited with him for a short while and then left.  But something inside me kept tugging at me, telling me to go back.  I’m not really sure what it was.  A calling?  A sense of obligation?  A need on my part?

I went back last week, and figured the whole thing out.  He needed me as much as I needed him.  I knew he couldn’t stay alone in the situation in which he was living, and I needed to have my own personal outlet for emotions that nobody else could ever understand.  I love my husband, my mother, my children and my friends, but this guy seems to me to be the best medicine.  Like a few before him, he is the kind of friend who listens without judging, accepts my crazy mood swings and goes with the flow, seems to know when to just lay down next to me quietly, and when just a little kiss on the cheek to tell me he loves will be enough.

Alex "the Great" Fisher
Alex “the Great” Fisher

I don’t even feel like I’m cheating on my husband.  Because he does the same for him.

Love this guy!!!

Alone Again, Naturally

This is not an interpretation of my Empty Nest.  Nor is it a diatribe on issues of abandonment.  It’s more a commentary on the transition, or at least one of them, that we go through in life, for which we are completely unprepared.

We come into this world butt naked.  The things we learn early on are the things that are put into our head by our parents and/or caregivers.  We are, hopefully, schooled, given some sense of self, and exposed to one version of spirituality or another.  We hit adulthood (much too early for me), and think we know an awful lot, only to find out that we haven’t even begun to live.

Life hands us all kinds of crazy scenarios over the years, whether we choose a professional life, a family life or both.  Sometimes, we choose neither, and let life just happen to us.

And then we get old.  We hit 50 and hear from AARP.  We get into are 60’s and some ask us if we are ready for retirement.  Our bones start to creak and it isn’t so easy to climb out of bed in the morning.  Some of us deny it and try to act like we’re still 23.

Our kids leave us to start their own lives; our parents leave us as their lives have run full circle.  We range close to, if not reach, retirement.  Our friends take off to find their final futures.  Some of us have been so wrapped up in the ride, we never see it coming, and when everyone else starts making those last moves and changes, and the dust settles, we find ourselves alone again, caught with our pants down… butt naked.